May 8, 2012 Just Before China

We are going to Beijing this Thursday. I love the unexpected and apart from reading books about China’s history and the Cultural Revolution and of course the contemporary art scene, I know very little.
An adventure in the making……
I’m going to try to keep some sort of visual blog happening while we are there and I’ll hopefully be able to spin a few words about my experiences.

It’s 8 weeks since Paul passed away this Friday. What started off miraculously has now turned into a grind. I don’t like it…..
Loss is a very demanding companion.
The completeness of death is immense and being so close to the time when Paul was still here and I could still communicate to him makes it harder.

I think about him constantly. I must admit that the finality is shattering……
I know deep down that something about Paul is still in the universe or somewhere else. I am not sage enough to know where he is but I have comfort to know that he is somewhere in some reality.

Even saying “him” feels silly.

I’m hoping really hard that Paul is now about 6 weeks old in a really healthy body feasting on the milk of a compassionate, loving mother who will nurture him and help him to have a wonderful new life.

Go forward my son and prepare the future for me.

I love you Paul.