What Does Life Hold for You When You Have Vanquished Cancer?
I should be ecstatic that my recent PET Scan showed that there are currently no signs of cancer in my body. The scary thing is that when you have gone up against cancer for a solid 8 months and thrown everything at it, all of your resources, time, energy, mental capacity and then you find out that for now your war is over, you can scratch your head and wonder “What do I do now?”.
Fighting for your survival is possibly amongst the most important and significant experiences in your life. It gives you a sense of purpose and a goal that cannot be compared with anything that you have ever done. I’m only talking from my own experience as I have not ever really been in a life threatening situation before during my almost 7 decades of life.
For now the battle is over and I am entering the maintenance stage. But you know what? While I am massively grateful that I have overcome this huge challenge I am also feeling a bit aimless. After having such a formidable enemy, after the daily exhilaration of the desire to survive, I am now in a position where I don’t have to fight anymore. It is akin to having a huge weight lifted off your shoulders but then there is always a chance that without the intense purpose to survive you are then confronted with what you have created in your own day to day life and it may seem a bit empty compared to all the excitement of battling cancer.
The truth is that I feel a bit flat. Nothing that cannot be remedied but now is possibly a time to reflect on what has come before, what has made me who I am. The friendships, some that have come and gone, the achievements …small and large, that I have accomplished during my life, the adventure and challenges that made up my life. It is a now time to plant the seeds that will hopefully bloom into new projects which will give my future life a renewed purpose.
I am well aware that I will need to live a disciplined life, to be constantly vigilant and to never kid myself that my cancer has gone for good. My doctor tells me that I will have to learn to live with cancer. It may boil down to the old adage of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. I have learned enough during the past 8 months to be very aware that cancer can metastasise into other parts of the body so it’s all about a good, healthy and nutritious diet with no junk, exercise, good sleep, continued study and any other successful actions that helped me to achieve my goal to beat the cancer.
