The Cycle Of Life
I tend to want things to happen instantly. Does this mean that I am impatient? Yes, quite possibly. I sometimes think that I have some sort of bizarre idea that once I’ve had an idea and start doing something towards getting it going that it will magically finish itself or become an instant actuality.
I have to admit that there have been times when I have looked back in retrospect and noticed that an idea or plan that I had or created had come to fruition without too much conscious effort. But more that not, this doesn’t happen and it takes systematic steps to achieve the goal whether it is creating something or helping somebody or just achieving a simple goal.
Life also fits within this set of rules. I’m at the stage now where having a goal for the rest of my life is totally relevant. It is inevitable that I will die, that is the only way our species can survive, no other system works but I am part of the remarkable species of the human race who not only have consciousness but have the ability to share abstract concepts and ideas amongst each other to solve problems and advance the species. This doesn’t always happen in a logical way but that’s another story.
Here’s what I know from my conscious experience.
I am going to die and it will be totally fine because I won’t even be able to remember that I was alive. Just like when you have a general anaesthetic but I won’t wake up from it. I don’t like that possibility as a living conscious being because I love “being aware that I am aware” too much. Another option is that I will seperate from my body and experience some other form of awareness, one that is untethered of a physical form. This is the one that appeals to me. This awareness may be only momentary, it may not involve words, thoughts, sensation or any other earthly characteristics. It may be an experience that I will be aware that I have experienced before. It may be intense or scary or beautiful or just matter of fact. I don’t know at this stage of my existence.
That is my goal.
What can I do to work toward this goal? The first thought that comes to mind is simply to live the best life that I can for as long as I can. The second thing I can do is to work toward understanding this possibility a bit more so that when and if it happens I am ready for it. It would suck to arrive at such a magic moment and be freaked out by it.
I’ll have to give this some more thought.
In some ways the funniest thing is that most people probably feel perplexed by death. At times it looks like I value life more than others. The young soldier who woke up on the morning of a big WW1 battle knowing that today he would possibly die but had no choice. The political dissenter who put his/her life on the line to uphold their own integrity. The parent who was willing to sacrifice their life for their child.
I don’t believe any of us want to die. It’s a damn big step to take. A huge adventure that will either be full of surprises or just nothing.
