Saving My Sex Life: Testosterone, Tadalafil, and Truth
Who would have thought — way back when I was a teenage boy, hauling bags and books off the bus to hide a raging hard-on — that one day I’d be wondering if I’d ever see one again?
At 16, getting an erection was as natural (and as inconvenient) as breathing. The slightest bounce of the bus, the flicker of a thought, a glance at a girl — boom, there it was. And there I was, desperately trying to conceal the evidence before stepping out in public.
No one warned us back then — no father, no coach, no awkward school health teacher — that 50 years down the track, getting it up might become a project.
The First Fall: A Mystery Penis Problem
Fast forward to my late 50s. About 15 years ago, I had a problem. After sex, the underside of my penis — the “lower part of the nob” — would get inflamed and bleed. Not exactly the stuff of romance novels.
I finally went to a urologist, who, in his infinite wisdom, told me, “Don’t worry, mate, I can fix your dick.”
Now, at that time, I didn’t have a clue about the underlying causes — things like high blood sugar, high insulin, alcohol abuse, nerve damage — or how they might have been quietly wrecking my body. I just wanted a quick fix. And the good doctor had a scalpel.
Without truly understanding the risks, I agreed to surgery.
(Spoiler alert: Always understand the risks.)
Part of what he did — maybe it was a partial circumcision, maybe something more invasive like frenuloplasty — damaged the nerves at the end of my penis. Which, in case you didn’t know, is pretty crucial real estate when it comes to sexual pleasure.
What the Hell is a Frenuloplasty Anyway?
At the time, I had no idea what the surgery was even called.
Looking back, I now know it was something called a frenuloplasty.
The frenulum is that little elastic band of skin that connects the underside of the penis head (the glans) to the shaft. If it’s too short — something called frenulum breve — it can cause real problems: tearing, bleeding, pain during sex, and even limit how much the foreskin or skin can move during an erection.
A frenuloplasty is basically where a surgeon cuts the frenulum and then stitches it back together in a way that’s supposed to make it longer and less restrictive.
Sounds simple, right?
What they don’t always tell you is that the frenulum is packed with sensitive nerves.
If the surgery messes with those nerves — or if healing doesn’t go perfectly — you can lose sensation, develop scar tissue, or worse, start battling issues like erectile dysfunction.
In my case, the surgeon also threw in a partial circumcision — sold to me as the “bonus prize” of finally getting the normal-looking penis I always thought I was supposed to have.
A two-for-one special! (Heavy sarcasm intended.)
The reality was a lot less glamorous.
I ended up with nerve damage that played a big part in my later sexual struggles.
Would I do it again knowing what I know now?
Not a chance in hell.
If you ever have penis issues — especially bleeding, tightness, pain — get a second opinion.
And don’t rush into surgeries without understanding every risk, especially when they involve nerves, sensation, and future sexual function.
A Lifetime of Anxiety, Bottled Up
Looking back, it’s almost comical how much penis anxiety shaped my youth.
Growing up in the 50s and 60s, it seemed like everyone was circumcised but me.
I genuinely thought I was a freak. Changing rooms, school camps — terrifying.
No one talked about this stuff back then. You were just supposed to know how to feel normal. You weren’t supposed to feel shame about your body. And yet, many of us did.
The Slow Burn of Metabolic Syndrome
After the surgery, my sexual function began a slow, almost imperceptible decline.
Other silent enemies were also at work:
Weight gain
High blood pressure
Poor diet
Insulin resistance
Peripheral nerve damage
Each one, like a tiny assassin, chipping away at my health, my vitality, my ability to get and maintain an erection.
The Years of Silence
I didn’t talk about it. Who talks about ED?
There’s a code of silence around it, especially for men.
I didn’t even know about options like tadalafil (Cialis). I didn’t know to check my testosterone levels. I didn’t know that my metabolic health was sabotaging my bedroom performance just as surely as it was sabotaging my heart and brain.
Instead, I just quietly stopped trying. I withdrew from the fight.
The Turning Point
In 2019, I finally got my act together.
Lost weight. Quit drinking. Changed my diet. Started caring about myself again.
Then — just for laughs — I got cancer.
(You can read about that in another post.)
But the hard work paid off. I didn’t just survive; I rebuilt myself from the inside out.
About a year ago, I started taking tadalafil.
Initially, the results were…meh.
Even taking two pills didn’t make a huge difference. I later realized why: it wasn’t just a plumbing problem — it was a hormonal problem.
Enter testosterone replacement therapy (TRT).
I started TRT properly about 9 months ago — one shot per week — and everything started coming back to life.
I was like a teenager again.
Lusting after my wife. Enjoying sex. Feeling alive.
Tadalafil: What It Does (and Why It’s Good for More Than Just Erections)
Tadalafil (you might know it as Cialis) isn’t just a “magic sex pill.”
Here’s what it actually does:
Improves blood flow by relaxing the smooth muscles in blood vessels
Boosts nitric oxide signaling (which you need to get an erection)
Improves endothelial function (important for heart and blood vessel health)
May lower blood pressure slightly
May even support prostate health
It’s not an instant turn-on. It’s more like giving your body the capacity to respond when the right opportunity arises.
And because it stays in your system for 36 hours or more, you don’t have to “time it” like you’re setting off fireworks.
Testosterone: It’s Not Just About Libido
Restoring testosterone isn’t just about getting a stiffy, either.
Healthy testosterone levels are critical for:
Brain function and mood (low T is linked to depression)
Muscle strength (you start losing it with low T)
Bone density (low T can lead to osteoporosis)
Metabolic health (better insulin sensitivity)
Overall vitality and energy
When testosterone drops too low, everything gets harder — and not just in the obvious way.
You lose your edge. Your confidence. Your drive.
Final Thoughts
I wish someone had told me all this 30 years ago.
I wish someone had said, “Mate, look after your blood sugar, your weight, your testosterone. If you don’t, it’ll all catch up with you — especially in the bedroom.”
But no one did.
So here I am telling you.
If you’re struggling with ED — or feeling like a shadow of your younger self — it’s not just “in your head.” It’s in your hormones, your blood vessels, your nerves. It’s in your metabolism.
And the good news? You can turn it around.
It takes effort. It takes honesty.
But it’s worth it.
