The Joys of Fatherhood
A father doesn’t really have to do all that much to have children. It seems to me that all of the hard work of child bearing and birth falls on the Mother.
What a father can strive for is to be somewhat of an inspiration and a rock for their offspring, maybe even a mentor. Somebody who can grant unconditional love and compassion, be a good listener and gently steer their children in a direction that might enhance their well being and survival potential.
I have strived to be a good father to my three children, maybe I haven’t always succeeded or at different times I may have placed more attention on one over the others.
Having said that what I’m writing about this morning isn’t really that. What I have my attention on today is the gratification that rewards you as a parent.
When a magical moment happens that makes everything worthwhile and when you feel a sense of achievement that lights you up like the Sydney Harbour Bridge on New Years Eve.
Last night I experienced one of those moments.
Finn, Georgie and I had been to the Gym and Sauna at ParQ. The cold plunge wasn’t all that cold and the rain was pouring down tumultuously from the equatorial heavens above Bali , we left early and caught a gojek ride to The Ubud Artisan Market which is held on the first weekend of the month in Sanggingan, a village in Ubud only around 15 minutes walk from Villa Tusk. It’s held on the location where Janet De Neef puts on the Ubud Writers Festival each October or thereabouts just down the road from her Indus Restaurant which overlooks the Tjampuan Ridge. We ate some food, looked around and then wandered down to Indus where I drank a coffee and Georgie and Finn knocked back a couple of drinks. We ended up having a great discussion about time travel and Science Fantasy. Finn was in full flight, fuelled by a couple of Bintangs.
One of the reasons we were here was to see the band that plays at Sami Warung on Friday nights. They had invited us to come and see them play at the Artisans Market. Georgie caught a gojek home around 7 pm and Finn and I wandered down the road back to the Market. Finn bought himself a small wooden box as a memento and we sat with the band who were hanging out, drinking whiskey and just generally chewing the fat. A nice way to start a night of music. What I didn’t know and was delighted to discover was that they have a bass player as he’s never played with them at Sami Warung at their Friday night gig.
Long story short because this isn’t about the band, it’s about me and Finn. To put it mildly they fired up and just got better and better as the night went on.
About 90 minutes into the gig Finn turned to me and proclaimed with immense passion, “ This is one of the best nights of my life”, holy shit, what do you do with that. It’s everything a father could hope and wish for.
Sharing such a moment with your son although there is 49 years separating us. We were sharing this moment in time without any restraints, without labels, without any hierarchy or considerations about our roles. It was one of the crowning moments of my own life. My heart was filled with joy at the thought that we could share a moment like this and be united in our mutual love of music.
We left at about 9 pm and wandered back down the road toward Tjampuan, bought a couple of ice creams and shared thoughts and feelings with each other.
This moment in time was my pay off for all of the head scratching and moments when I thought that Finn and I would never resonate on the same wavelength. A splendiferous moment of joy, happiness and satisfaction. A breakthrough that may now ressound for the rest of my life, our lives.
Happiness and contentment prevail, I feel like a cat curled up in a ball sitting in the window with the warm sun pouring in and permeating my whole being with warmth and life sustaining energy.
Thank you Bali for this gift. It means so much to me.
