Trust, Theft & Justifications
I had an abrupt awakening yesterday in regard to trust.
It’s a big one as it has to do with personal integrity. Over the millennia who knows what percentage of the people on earth would have been tempted to steal from their neighbour. It might be pre-empted by jealousy that they are probably better off than you and can afford to lose something, whereas you need it. It might simply be that it appears to be easy to take somebody else’s possessions because there is very little chance that you will be caught. Whatever the reasoning behind it, stealing and theft happen.
When I was young I worked as a visual merchandiser at Myer. Stealing from a big company seemed acceptable because I wasn’t stealing from an individual which sort of made it feel that I was taking things from a “building”. There was no individual who I could identify with stealing from. Anyway, I have to admit that I did steal things from Myer when I could about 50 years ago. Probably around 1970. I had a long lists of justifications. But you know what. I carried the guilt with me throughout my life. I am even manufacturing justifications as I write.
Another time, when I was around 7 years old I visited the Royal Melbourne Show wth my Grade 3 classmates. My Mum gave me some money to buy a Coles Showbag for my little sister Netty. I did buy it but the temptation was far too great and I ate a few lollies from the bag. This put me in a situation where I had a problem of whether I would be found out so I hatched a plot to swap this depleted show bag for one that looked plump and full but belonged to another person. I sat down next to a girl who had a bountiful looking show bag and surreptitiously swapped Netty’s with hers. Later in the day I looked inside the bag only to find it full of empty wrappers and half devoured lolly packets. l don’t recall how I got our of that one but it sort of scarred me for life.
The reason I write these experiences is to make it clear that I am not just a victim, I have also been a perpetrator!
Last night Georgie and I went to the Peninsula Hot Springs and I wore a new jumper and an almost new tee shirt. When I went into the changing room I took the jumper and tee shirt off and put them on a hanger that is above the benches in the changing room. The hangers are quite beautiful and seemed badly wasted and ignored if they had nothing on them. Somebody had gone to a lot of trouble to design and create them.
I must admit that for a fleeting second I had doubts about my sanity which prompted me to put my pants and everything else into a locker, which I didn’t lock by the way, but I did close it.
After about 4 hours I came back to the changing room covered in rain and well and truly ready to dry myself, get dressed and head off home.
When I walked into the changing room the first thing that struck me was the bareness of the room. My clothes were not there. Somebody had either moved them or stolen them. I didn’t get too upset but I must admit that I did have that slight feeling of loss that one gets when you lose something. But more than anything I wondered about the person who may have stolen them. Who were they? What were they thinking? What did they look like? What socio-economic position they occupied? How will it affect their life?
My naivety and lack of trust in others is not something that has a strong foundation. The simple truth is that people will steal from you if they have a chance. What a shitty thing.
But as I said earlier I had done it during my own life when I was a different version of myself. I think that underlying the whole concept of theft is anonymity. If people thought that they would be found out then they more than likely wouldn’t do it. After all they aren’t going to leave their name and address behind announcing that I am Bill, this is my address … I just stole your clothing.
My realisation this morning is that stealing makes you a smaller person who cannot be trusted to be a group or society member. How sad is that? It also opens the door for you to pile on the justifications that weaken you and result in you taking away some of the power that your own responsibility and integrity afford you.
